Category: For The Guys

Spanking for Beginners – My Top 10 Tips

Do you like the idea of spanking or being spanked. Either way it can be a lot of fun! Check out these easy to follow tips and advice to make it as sexy and erotic as possible…

Spanking for beginners can be one of two things:

1. A sexy way to have fun with your lover
2. A painful or embarrassing experiment that you never try again!

Personally, I really enjoy spanking a lady’s ass. Especially if it’s slightly chubby, so it wobbles as I spank it :-). Spanking can be great fun, it feels naughty, sexy and kinky all at the same time. So if you want to add spanking to your repertoire of sexual activities check out my ten top tips:

Who’s doing what? – Decide who wants to spank and who wants to be spanked. OK, this one is pretty damned obvious but still don’t make any assumptions. You never know what sexual desires could be lurking deep within your partner! If you are both beginners, perhaps you should each try both roles and see who prefers doing what?

Get in the mood – Spanking is best done when in the right mood. Sometimes soft, gentle, cuddly sex is right for the moment but on other occasions harder, kinkier, dirtier sex is much more fun. Pick the right time and use fantasy, naughty texts, role plays and whatever else you fancy to help get you in the right frame of mind for giving it a go.

Create a safety word – Some people like to say no when they mean yes during spanking. It’s part of the fun of being dominated, but this can cause obvious problems if you’re not careful. How will the spanker know when to stop if he or she has been told to ignore words like “no” or “please stop”? This is where the safety word comes in. Pick a word that will stand out and immediately tell your lover that you have had enough.

Massage oil – This is a personal favorite of mine. Massaging some sort of oil into a butt before it gets spanked is great fun. It makes the spanks sound and feel better plus in my opinion an oily butt often looks better than one without a shine to it.

Picking the sweet spot – This takes practice and every cheek is different. Start off gently and try to find the fleshiest, curviest bit of the butt to spank. You will know you have found it, as it will feel great when you strike it.

The perfect spank – Again this takes practice and you need to aim for the sweet spot (see above). As you try spanking, some strikes will feel really great, something about the timing of the motion and how your hand meets the ass will be just perfect and both you and your partner will know it’s a good one!

Rhythm – Experiment with varying the rhythm, from slow and steady to sharp and fast. Try various tempos and see what reaction you get from the person you are spanking.

Build the intensity – Start off slowly and gently. As blood starts to flow to the person’s ass their pain threshold will go up slightly. So once you have warmed them up you can go harder and faster without hurting them (too much 😉 ).

From cheek to cheek – Don’t just hit the one spot again and again. Swap from cheek to cheek and work your hand all around the fleshy area. If you just concentrate on one area for too long the pain will very quickly get too much!

Spanking paddles – From the perspective of the spanker they stop your hand from getting sore and allow you to use more power in your spanking. From the perspective of being spanked if you like it hard then your need to make sure you’re being spanked with a paddle!

Interesting spanking fact: Experiencing sensations of pain releases feel good hormones into the body. So by pushing your boundaries and getting a good hard spanking you are likely to have much more intense orgasms.

There you go, some tips about spanking for noobies. We have a whole community of sexy people sharing tips and advice on sex, spanking and fantasies. You can join (for free) here and get involved in the fun…

Have a good one!
Jack
PS – Click here to buy the perfect spanking paddle and browse our huge range of sex toys…

Reading a Woman’s Signals…

Most women communicate a lot with non-verbal signals like body language and eye contact. Once you crack this code you can learn what she really wants and then take her sexy pleasure up to a whole new level…

She’s Telling You What She Wants!

If you are a man reading this you need to learn one very important thing about women.

Women are much better at (and often prefer) non-verbal communication to verbal.

What do I mean by this? Women are very skilled at communicating without speaking. They are much more likely than men to communicate this way and because of this are much better than men at doing so.

Ladies, if you disagree with this just think for a moment. How many times have you sat waiting for a guy to kiss you, thinking you are making it stupidly obvious but he doesn’t make a move? Do you think that same guy would hesitate if you said, “kiss me”? Probably not!

There is a long and complicated evolutionary theory for all this that I might blog about if there is enough interest. (Let me know in the comments section below if you are interested?)… But for the sake of this argument just accept that women communicate using non-verbal signals A LOT.

Another point worth bearing in mind, relates to the point above, women sometimes forget or aren’t aware that men aren’t great at reading their signals. This leads to all sorts of confusion and miscommunication.
Think about this one for a while, it could help you out with the opposite sex in ALL aspects of your life!

What has all this got to do with sex?

Most men have very simple needs, but for women it is different. Women are complicated and have wide a range of sexual needs and desires. They all have different needs. Even the same woman will have different needs depending on what day it is. All this can make it tricky for a man who wants to satisfy one or more women!

To make it even more complicated a lot of women have this ideal fantasy of a man knowing exactly what to do to please her without needing any help or advice? Yes fellas, this is annoying and makes it even harder to learn how to turn a woman on! (You gotta love ’em though…Right? 😉)

So, the secret to learning how to turn your woman on and the secret to being the guy “that just knows what to do” is simple, powerful and very effective:

Get very good at reading her non-verbal signals

  • Watch her body
  • Listen to the noises she makes
  • Keep an eye on her breathing
  • See if her skin is flushed
  • Check to see if her pupils are dilated (wide open)

Important note number one
Not all of these signals are always accurate, especially things like the size of her pupils or if her skin is flushed. BUT if you watch all of these when you are with her you will get the picture of how she is feeling.

As you practice this with one or more women, you will get a sixth sense for it. You will notice and react to any changes in her body and you will be able to use this sense to increase the amount of pleasure you give her.

Important note number two
Don’t act like some crazy scientist studying a creature from outer space! Don’t spend all your time obsessively watching every move she makes! Instead just become aware of the signals she is giving you and use them to change the way you touch her.

As you get good at this, you will be able to read all sorts from her:

  • What she likes
  • What she doesn’t like
  • What speed she likes
  • What pressure she likes

And that’s just the start, the better you get at reading her body, the more you will be able to get out of it. Not only will you be a much better lover but you will also be able to create a deeper emotional bond with the women you sleep with. She will feel more understood, more satisfied and happier with her love life. One thing I’ve learnt over time is that the happier a woman is with her sex life the more sex she wants…!

Ladies – I would love to hear your thoughts and comments below.
Guys – Hit me up with any questions or thoughts.

(All you need to do is post your comments in the box below, it will go live once its approved).

BTW if you haven’t joined our free sexy community – do it now… It rocks and you’ll love it!

Have a good one!
Jack
PS – You might want to check out this post on how to last longer and this one on how to use the deep spot to blow any woman’s mind…

Why Don’t Men Listen??? Grrrrrrrr…!!!

Some men just don’t listen and it really annoys me! If a guys wants to know how to really turn me on, all he has to do is listen to what I tell him….IT THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???

Ladies, is it just me or do some men NEVER listen..???


(Men – You need to read this post because you could be making this mistake!)

Jack and I had a conversation last week and he said something like this…

‘Women don’t help themselves by faking orgasms and they don’t help men by not communicating enough. Women have this unrealistic fantasy that men should automatically know what a woman desires. Even for a skilled, experienced man this can be very difficult. Not only do all women have different physical needs, the same woman can have different needs on different days!’

Jack’s right. Well, I agree with him to a certain extent, we are more complicated than men and our needs can vary from day to day. Faking orgasms is dumb and doesn’t help anybody. In reality most of us girls do have a fantasy of our man knowing instinctively what to do (instead of being told what to do). This can also be a turn off for a lot of women, having to explain what their likes and dislikes are.

But…
This isn’t the whole picture. Some guys in my experience just don’t listen… I can tell some men (usually nice men) until I’m blue in the face that ‘ I like it this way’ or ‘spank me more’ but they just don’t take heed. After repeating myself like a broken record, I have to stop asking because all the repetition is not good for me. They either forget, are not really listening to me or they don’t want to do it.

I end up asking myself ‘Why don’t they want to do it? Am I perverted for wanting this?’

Of course I’m not perverted (well maybe slightly tee-hee 😉 ), we are all entitled to like what we like and should be able to freely express our desires without being made to feel bad (naughty yes!) for what we like.

So, what can be done about this?

Ladies, if your man doesn’t listen when you tell him what to do in the bedroom you have four options:

  • Put up with it.
  • Cheat (not recommended).
  • Leave him (not ideal).
  • Email this blog to him and give him a serious kick up the ass!

If you are a man reading this, you need to honestly ask yourself this question “Am I this guy? Do I listen to my girl and give her what she wants?” or “Do I live in a fake world of denial where I am the best lover she has ever had?” (When in reality the sex you are providing does not reach the level she requires?). If this could be you, then you need to change, you need to start listening and you need to take action before you lose your lady!

If you would like to learn some new skills, get some great ideas for your sex life and share some of your own sexual experiences then join our free community here!

Love
Lola

Fantasizing During Sex

A man’s opinions on the controversial topic of fantasizing during sex. Do you do it? Do you mind if your lover does it? Do you talk about it with your partner?

A Mans Perspective

Fantasizing during sex is one of those issues that can cause a bit of friction between lovers if not handled carefully. Especially if the fantasy involves somebody else and not the partner they are with.

From my own perspective, I very rarely do it. I much prefer to focus on the girl I’m sleeping with. The only times I have done it has been in bad relationships where the chemistry hasn’t been right between me and my partner and because I’ve found it hard to reach orgasm due to the negative vibes. Interestingly, I’ve also asked a few of my male friends and none of them do it much either.

One thing I do know is that a lot of women do fantasize during sex. How do I know this? I read a book called “My Secret Garden” by Nancy Friday. The book is a collection of fantasies shared by women anonymously. Reading it blew my mind. I had no idea how crazy women’s fantasies are, or how much they fantasize during sex. I also asked some of my female friends and with varying degrees of honesty/embarrassment they did chuckle and admit that they did.

I’ve got to be honest here. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing to discover! I didn’t find it easy to accept that some of my ex-partners had very probably been fantasizing about other men while having sex with me. I realized that I would need to get over this or it would become an issue. The last thing I wanted was to be worrying about this stuff during sex!

Side note to women here – Ladies, I am not judging you for anything you do. Whatever you want to think about to get horny is fine with me. But from the perspective of your partner you need to be aware this could be a tricky subject.

If you find this hard to appreciate, put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he was thinking about fucking some sexy bimbo while you were focusing on being intimate with him? Maybe you would be cool with that or maybe you would find it hurtful? Either way it makes sense to approach this with sensitivity and empathy IMO.

Side note to men here – Women tend to need more mental stimulation than men to orgasm. If a woman fantasizes during sex, she is not doing it to hurt her lover, she is doing it to have fun and to help her cum.

The situation – A lot of women fantasize during sex and it can often be about other people. There is the potential for this to cause issues and men could find it scary or hurtful. A lot of women tend to repress these fantasies by keeping them secret so they don’t cause issues with their lovers.

What’s the solution to all this? – In my opinion it lies in two things. Firstly in communicating with each other. If you talk about this and see each other’s point of view it should help ease any tension. Secondly and this is where the fun really begins, share fantasies with your lover. Instead of one (or even both) of you secretly having guilty little fantasies on your own, bring them into your lovemaking. Talk dirty to each other. Tell each other what gets you horny. Make up new fantasies together. Very quickly, something that was a negative in your love life can become a powerful positive.

I hope that was of interest? Lola has blogged on the same subject from a woman’s perspective here…
(Please comment below I would love to know your thoughts on this).

If you want to share your fantasies with like-minded people, you should check out our sexy community here…

Have a good one!
Jack

What Turns Women On

When it comes to sex us ladies are strange creatures. We get turned on by all sorts of things that guys would never, ever realize…Until now that is..! 😉

12 Random Things That Make Me Horny!

I am writing this blog to give men a better understanding of just how secretly horny most women are. In my last post, women love sex, I talked about the same subject and why women suppress their true feelings. The list below shares some of the day to day experiences that I come across that get me hot and horny. As you will see some of them are very random! 🙂

If you are a man reading this, then these might surprise you. If you are a woman reading this, then you will probably have your own list so please, do me a favor and list them below in the comments section. If it helps give men a better understanding of how we work then it’s worth the effort!

In no particular order…

The harmonica: The men that usually play this beautiful instrument are old, fat and ugly. For some reason every time I hear and see them my mind will fantasize about how they would make love to me. I suddenly don’t care one bit what he looks like, he is sexy as hell to me.

A man that has just finished work: (Especially a construction worker or mechanic) I think it has something to do with them working hard all day. Usually, as soon as I see one, I have mind flashes of helping them release their tension and aching muscles.

Tractors. Yes tractors!!! – I instantly get horny from seeing one and if it’s a young farmer driving them then watch out if you’re on the road because my eyes are not where they should be!!!

Talking to hot girls: This one is really naughty of me because they probably won’t know that I swing both ways. They are chatting innocently to me all the while I am eyeing them up and imagining what it would be like to fuck them.

Bald heads: I’m a sucker for them (think Bruce Willis and Jason Statham). It must have something to do with the way they are portrayed as ‘The tough guy that will protect me’. He can be twice my age with a beer gut, but I will still look at him with a sexy curiosity if he has a sexy bald head.

Feminine men: Yes, this type of man also makes me wonder a lot. I am sure it is because they are in touch with their feminine side, which gives me hope that he will understand me on a deeper level than your average tough guy.

Chocolate: As soon as it starts to melt in my mouth, I am reminded of sex!!!

Vibrations on a bus: Before I passed my driving test I used to ride the bus everywhere I went. I’ve had plenty of experiences where my mind wanders off on a shaky bus and I cannot wait till I can get home to finish the job!

People bending over: “Would I, wouldn’t I?” I can’t help myself… It just turns me on.

Feet: I have a foot fetish (most of us love something that’s weird, right?) and I just love summer because of it! I get instant images in my mind of sucking toes when I see nice feet.

Wind between my legs: OK, so I go commando here and there for the thrill of it. I am fine most of the time until the wind hits me between my legs. It makes me think sexy thoughts and then my mind starts racing!

Music: Certain music gets me wet and takes my mind into the world of fantasy.

This should give you an idea on how many times a lady can get horny through the day! You may think this is strange, but I promise you it’s not. I may be at the top end of the scale for horny women but believe me the majority of ladies think like this.

Guys… I challenge you to find out what random things your lady finds a turn on and use it to amplify the fun you have together.

Ladies… The more of this you share with your man, the better your sex life will be. If you feel shy, then send your man this blog post to get you started.

We have a huge community that loves to delve into the world of fantasy so come and join us here.

Love
Lola