Sexual Behavior

There is a lot of bullshit passed around Western society about sex. It is hypocritical, it is unfair and it causes all sorts of unnecessary negative consequences for all genders and sexual orientations. We all need to speak up more about this to make the world a better place…

Moral Judgement and Immoral Hypocrisy

A common theme of this blog is the judgment by society on an individual’s sexual desires and behaviors. Again and again I see people not enjoying their bodies in the way they would like to, due to fear of being judged by friends, family, partners or even strangers!

The other day Lola and I were chatting about this and she admitted there were some of her fantasies that she would be embarrassed about if some of her friends knew what they were because they were quite extreme in nature.

What struck me was that if such a confident and sexually open lady as Lola was wary of talking about this then how many other women out there had similar fantasies and were too scared of being judged to talk about it honestly and openly with their friends?

What I realized is, this gets right to the core of Secret Erotica and what we are trying to do with our blog, articles and community. We want to strip away as much of this judgment and BS from people’s minds by creating an open space for people to express themselves without fear or judgment. Let me just make this very clear…

We believe if a person gets turned on by the an extreme fantasy, no one in society has the right to judge him or her for that.

We also believe that no one person has the right to judge anyone else for their sexual desires or behavior unless it causes someone else pain or suffering (with the obvious BDSM exceptions).

There are two reasons why, in my opinion, people and society should keep their judgments to themselves over most of the sexual behavior of other people.

Firstly from a moral perspective, no one person’s opinion is more important than anybody else’s and we don’t have the right to judge each other. If we want to live in a society where we are allowed to enjoy our own sex lives without judgment then we have to pay other people the same level of respect! Irrespective of how we feel about whatever they chose to do, we owe them the same privileges that we expect for our selves.

A side note of the legal stuff – Please keep it legal! Behaving within the laws of the country you are in whilst engaging in our community is an important rule of your membership. BUT that doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with those laws. For example some Middle Eastern countries have laws about sex such as no kissing in public, which we find both oppressive and immoral. However, if you live there you must obey the law or suffer the consequences. The one boundary we set very firmly is we will not allow any content regarding adults having sex with children. If we observe anything like this the participants will be reported to the police and then banned from our website.

The second point about judging other peoples sexual desires and behavior is that it is nearly always hypocritical. We all have some weird little fetishes, fantasies or desires that turn us on. I have never met anyone who doesn’t get turned on by something that they wouldn’t want anyone else to know about. Let’s be honest here for a second… Have you ever wondered that the people who shout about this most are the ones with something to hide?

This question brings up something called “Gertrude’s Law” which tells us that the people who shout the loudest are the one’s with the most to hide. It comes from the classic Shakespearean quote:

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks”

As an example think of this law being observed in action think of a politician who preaches about family values and then gets caught in a brothel with his trousers down!

Again I want to make something very clear here…

Everyone has sexual secrets and things they wish to be kept private and as such they should keep their noses out of other peoples business!

BUT… There are limits. Secret Erotica is an open-minded adult community and as such has to make as many people as possible feel welcome, safe and happy. If your particular sexual preference is on the more extreme end of the scale we will create special groups for you and your friends to enjoy without fear or upsetting anyone. If on the other hand you swim in the more vanilla end of the sexy pool, you will also find groups where you will happily fit in.

For more information on our community rules and guidelines – click here.

As owners of this site, we have to balance freedom of expression, keeping our members within the laws of their country and making it a place where people can have a really fun time without being upset or upsetting anyone else.

This is a difficult process, we don’t expect to always get it right, but we will try very hard to do so. Your questions, comments, suggestions, complaints and support are all very welcome either using the comment box below, by contacting us here, or by starting a conversation within the community.

I’m going to finish this post on a positive note:

Humanity is awesome,
Sex is awesome,
YOU are awesome!

Have a good one!

Info on feminism and free speech here.

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