Rant, rant, rant!!!! I am sick of women complaining that men are bad in the sack when there are so many things the ladies could do so much better…!
Which Make Me Mad..!
Ok, before I start this post let me make something clear. I love women. I am not a woman hater and I’m not about to give you a long rant about how women are all terrible in bed! But I am going to rant about some of the annoying things women do in bed. I’m doing this so I can let off some steam, so other men can agree and so women can learn. Two points to consider first of all:
1. A lot of women (and media targeted at women) are constantly bitching about how men are crap in bed.
2. In my experience very few women are great in bed. (Don’t worry ladies after I’ve had my rant I will offer some solutions.)
I find this combination a bit hypocritical and irritating and once I’ve let off some steam I’m going to propose some solutions. (Stick with me here ladies, I promise this is going to get a lot more helpful!) So here are the ten things women do in the bedroom that piss me off:
Treating my dick like it’s a piece of gym equipment! – Be gentle ladies. My cock might not be as sensitive as your clit but it still needs a gentle touch. Don’t grip it like a dumbbell and whatever you do don’t pull my foreskin back too far THIS REALLY HURTS.
Biting my dick! – I know this isn’t the same for all guys but for me personally when I’m getting a blow job I don’t want you to bite the end of my dick! Use your tongue and your lips to blow my mind, but keep your teeth well away from the tip of my cock.
Expecting me to do all the work! – Don’t lie back and expect me to do all the work, it’s lazy and selfish. Sex is best when both partners want to give the other pleasure, when both partners want to give more than they receive. This is a very simple way to make sex better.
Bending my dick into uncomfortable positions. – Often reverse cow-girl but in some other positions as well. If you need to hit a certain spot I get it, but my dick can snap under pressure. If it does, blood will pour out of the end of it and it wont work for months! Be careful with your lover’s prick or you may just lose your favorite toy.
Faking orgasms – Don’t do it. If your man is terrible in bed it kids him into thinking he is doing a good job and for those of us that can tell the difference it is a major turn off.
Not helping me out/Expecting me to know everything – I am not a mind reader! Women are complicated creatures. They all have different sexual needs and those needs differ from day to day. If you don’t give me some clues as to what you want it is very hard for me to guess.
Ass attack – I’m all up for a bit of bum fun BUT I have no desire for anyone to ram a badly aimed and sharpened nail up my butt with no warning or lube. There is a time and place for this sort of fun and it usually involves at least some sort of planning and preparation.
Nipple fiddling – I HATE this one. During foreplay I like having my nipples squeezed and nibbled. But often after sex a woman will start to fiddle with my nipples as if to give her fingers something to do. This really pisses me off so don’t do it!
Telling me they are going to cum (too early) – Two of my best friends have an issue with this as well. For guys, when a woman says “I’m going to cum” it can very often push us over the edge to cumming very, very quickly. Sometimes a woman will say it far too early and then we end up cumming before she gets a chance to! Clearly not good for anyone involved.
Keeping too many secrets – So many times when I ask a woman “what do you fantasize about” or “what would you like to try in bed” they reply “nothing”. Yeah right lol! You never fantasize and you don’t have any sexual desires, are you a fucking robot!?!
So, as promised, for any of you ladies reading this, here are my solutions:
Treating my dick like it’s a piece of gym equipment! – Each cock has its own preferences but the skill here is to start off gently until you know what your lover prefers.
Biting my dick! – Don’t do it unless it is requested. Keep your teeth away from any dick you suck!
Expecting me to do all the work! – Just get off your lazy ass and do something. If you feel unsure or nervous about taking action, have a chat with Lola in our community and get some sexy skills to use on your man.
Bending my dick into uncomfortable positions – If you are trying out some crazy new position double check that your lover is cool with it and then start off slowly until you know his dick is safe.
Faking orgasms – Don’t do it. If your lover is so bad that you feel you have too, you might want to think about getting a new one!
Expecting me to know everything – I know in your ideal fantasy world you wouldn’t ever have to tell a man anything and he would still know every tiny detail of how to give you the best fucking of your life. BUT this isn’t an ideal world so help your man out and you will reap the rewards!
Ass attack – Just be careful around that sensitive area and always use plenty of lube!
Nipple fiddling – Maybe this one is just me, ask your man and see if he feels the same?
Telling me they are going to cum too early – Don’t say you are going to cum until you are very, very close. Then say it; please do, as it is very sexy!
Keeping too many secrets – Do your best to share your desires and fantasies. It will improve your sex life.
In my next blog post I’ve listed the ten things women do in bed that I love. I don’t want to spend any more time on the negative side of sex, so I’m going to celebrate the amazing things women do in bed, check it out here…
Please feel free to comment using the form below (it will be spam checked and then go live). I would love to know your thoughts and hear any questions you might have?
Finally if you haven’t done so already check out our amazing community of very sexy people here…
Have a good one!