How Taking a Leak Can Improve Your Sex Life!?!? (Tip for the men)

Simple, easy to follow tips to improve a man’s sex life. And yes it does have everything to do with taking a leak…

Yes, you heard me right. Taking a leak can improve your sex life. No this isn’t a joke and no it isn’t some dumb internet scam to try and get you to spend money. It’s just a simple technique to help you to…

Improve your ejaculation control (You get to choose when you cum!)
Increase the intensity of your orgasms.
Give you the capability to have multiple orgasms!

Yes you read that right, it’s little known fact that men can have multiple orgasms. So what the hell am I talking about?

How to do it:

EVERY TIME you take a leak stop mid flow 5-10 times, pause for a second or two before carrying on. It’s that simple. Just stop and start your flow as many times as possible.


This strengthens your pelvic floor muscles (also known as PC or kegel muscles). These muscles (the same ones that lift your balls up and down) and their strength dictate how intense your orgasms are, how much control you have over ejaculation and can also help you have multiple orgasms!

Ejaculation control:

The stronger your PC muscles are the longer you can last during intercourse. As your PC muscles improve you will have much, much more control over when you cum.

Increase the intensity of your orgasms:

I have no ideas why this is, but I know its true from my own experience. As your muscles get stronger your orgasms increase in intensity. You should start to notice a difference within a few weeks of starting this exercise.

Male multiple orgasms:

This is more complicated and needs it’s own blog post to explain it fully. But if your PC muscles are well trained it is possible to use them to stop ejaculation during orgasm. This means you can have a dry orgasm without losing your erection. This of course means you can carry on and have multiple orgasms in a similar way to a woman.

Give it a go:

Try it out for a few weeks and you will notice a difference. Like I said before just stop mid flow as many times as possible, every time you take a leak.
I will post a longer blog post on kegel exercises, ejaculation control and multiple orgasms soon but for now just practice this one tip and you will be amazed!


(Please note I am not a Doctor! If you have any serious concerns around your health please consult a professional health worker).

Feel free to comment or ask any questions using the form below. If you haven’t already you really need to join our sexy online community now! The members are awesome; it’s rammed with sexy stories, advice, chat and lots of very horny people.

Have a good one!

10 Things Women Do In Bed That I Love

I love fucking women. Not only do I find them very attractive but they do some little things that just blow my mind and get my cock throbbing with excitement and pleasure…

My last blog post was a bit of a rant. I listed 20 things women do during sex that really piss me off. This blog post is going to be much more positive, it’s about the things women do in bed that I love.

If you are a woman and you don’t do any of these things perhaps you should think about giving them a go? If you are a guy and would like your lady to do any of these why not send her this link as a not so subtle hint? 😉

Give blow-jobs (and expect nothing in return) – This is one of my all time favorites. I love it when a woman sucks my cock and then lets me chill out. No expectation of a favor being returned, no need to fuck her, go down on her or anything else. JUST a blowjob and that’s it! (Trust me ladies you will reap the rewards for this in the long term.)

Give massages – Sexy ones or even non-sexy “sort out my tired muscles” ones. Either is good and a combination of both at the same time is even better.

Dress up – Lingerie rocks. I know you ladies sometimes have different tastes than us men but there is always some common ground. Find something that makes you feel sexy and turns your man on and it’s a win-win situation. (IMO win-win is the way forward wherever possible in all aspects of life including sex)

Fly solo – There is nothing that turns me on more than watching a woman play with herself until she cums (preferably more than once). It’s so sexy it hurts!

Help me out from time to time – I love being a good lover, I work hard at learning as many sexual skills as possible and always want my woman to feel sexually satisfied. But sometimes it’s not that easy. Women are complicated so any help or advice is greatly appreciated. Just show me the path and I will follow it.

Swallow – You might not want to hear this but IMO unless you swallow my cum it’s not a proper blowjob! I don’t really know why I like this so much but I know that I do. BTW never spit it into my mouth I DO NOT WANT TO EAT MY OWN CUM. Unlike some guys I have no issues with kissing you straight after you’ve swallowed but that’s as far as it goes for me.

Share naughty secrets – I know what you women are like! You are all very horny, very dirty and fantasize A LOT. Don’t be shy, share that stuff with me and then I can use it to improve our sex life!

Bite me – HARD…But only when I’m having an orgasm. I love it and it makes my orgasm much more intense.

Take control – Most of the time I’m a very dominant lover but on occasion there is nothing nicer than lying back and letting a woman take control.

Squirting – This one is very rare. All women can squirt but very few know how to. Watching a woman have a whole body orgasm and squirting from her pussy is very, very sexy!

Guys – Leave your comments and add your personal faves to the list.
Girls – Take note and hit me up with any questions or thoughts.

Have a good one!

20 Things Women Do in Bed

Rant, rant, rant!!!! I am sick of women complaining that men are bad in the sack when there are so many things the ladies could do so much better…!

Which Make Me Mad..!

Ok, before I start this post let me make something clear. I love women. I am not a woman hater and I’m not about to give you a long rant about how women are all terrible in bed! But I am going to rant about some of the annoying things women do in bed. I’m doing this so I can let off some steam, so other men can agree and so women can learn. Two points to consider first of all:

1. A lot of women (and media targeted at women) are constantly bitching about how men are crap in bed.
2. In my experience very few women are great in bed. (Don’t worry ladies after I’ve had my rant I will offer some solutions.)

I find this combination a bit hypocritical and irritating and once I’ve let off some steam I’m going to propose some solutions. (Stick with me here ladies, I promise this is going to get a lot more helpful!) So here are the ten things women do in the bedroom that piss me off:

Treating my dick like it’s a piece of gym equipment! – Be gentle ladies. My cock might not be as sensitive as your clit but it still needs a gentle touch. Don’t grip it like a dumbbell and whatever you do don’t pull my foreskin back too far THIS REALLY HURTS.

Biting my dick! – I know this isn’t the same for all guys but for me personally when I’m getting a blow job I don’t want you to bite the end of my dick! Use your tongue and your lips to blow my mind, but keep your teeth well away from the tip of my cock.

Expecting me to do all the work! – Don’t lie back and expect me to do all the work, it’s lazy and selfish. Sex is best when both partners want to give the other pleasure, when both partners want to give more than they receive. This is a very simple way to make sex better.

Bending my dick into uncomfortable positions. – Often reverse cow-girl but in some other positions as well. If you need to hit a certain spot I get it, but my dick can snap under pressure. If it does, blood will pour out of the end of it and it wont work for months! Be careful with your lover’s prick or you may just lose your favorite toy.

Faking orgasms – Don’t do it. If your man is terrible in bed it kids him into thinking he is doing a good job and for those of us that can tell the difference it is a major turn off.

Not helping me out/Expecting me to know everything – I am not a mind reader! Women are complicated creatures. They all have different sexual needs and those needs differ from day to day. If you don’t give me some clues as to what you want it is very hard for me to guess.

Ass attack – I’m all up for a bit of bum fun BUT I have no desire for anyone to ram a badly aimed and sharpened nail up my butt with no warning or lube. There is a time and place for this sort of fun and it usually involves at least some sort of planning and preparation.

Nipple fiddling – I HATE this one. During foreplay I like having my nipples squeezed and nibbled. But often after sex a woman will start to fiddle with my nipples as if to give her fingers something to do. This really pisses me off so don’t do it!

Telling me they are going to cum (too early) – Two of my best friends have an issue with this as well. For guys, when a woman says “I’m going to cum” it can very often push us over the edge to cumming very, very quickly. Sometimes a woman will say it far too early and then we end up cumming before she gets a chance to! Clearly not good for anyone involved.

Keeping too many secrets – So many times when I ask a woman “what do you fantasize about” or “what would you like to try in bed” they reply “nothing”. Yeah right lol! You never fantasize and you don’t have any sexual desires, are you a fucking robot!?!

So, as promised, for any of you ladies reading this, here are my solutions:

Treating my dick like it’s a piece of gym equipment! – Each cock has its own preferences but the skill here is to start off gently until you know what your lover prefers.

Biting my dick! – Don’t do it unless it is requested. Keep your teeth away from any dick you suck!

Expecting me to do all the work! – Just get off your lazy ass and do something. If you feel unsure or nervous about taking action, have a chat with Lola in our community and get some sexy skills to use on your man.

Bending my dick into uncomfortable positions – If you are trying out some crazy new position double check that your lover is cool with it and then start off slowly until you know his dick is safe.

Faking orgasms – Don’t do it. If your lover is so bad that you feel you have too, you might want to think about getting a new one!

Expecting me to know everything – I know in your ideal fantasy world you wouldn’t ever have to tell a man anything and he would still know every tiny detail of how to give you the best fucking of your life. BUT this isn’t an ideal world so help your man out and you will reap the rewards!

Ass attack – Just be careful around that sensitive area and always use plenty of lube!

Nipple fiddling – Maybe this one is just me, ask your man and see if he feels the same?

Telling me they are going to cum too early – Don’t say you are going to cum until you are very, very close. Then say it; please do, as it is very sexy!

Keeping too many secrets – Do your best to share your desires and fantasies. It will improve your sex life.

In my next blog post I’ve listed the ten things women do in bed that I love. I don’t want to spend any more time on the negative side of sex, so I’m going to celebrate the amazing things women do in bed, check it out here…

Please feel free to comment using the form below (it will be spam checked and then go live). I would love to know your thoughts and hear any questions you might have?

Finally if you haven’t done so already check out our amazing community of very sexy people here…

Have a good one!

My Secret Garden – by Nancy Friday

My Secret Garden is an amazing book. It gives and awesome insight into female sexuality and it was also the inspiration for this website…

Nancy Friday’s amazing book “My Secret Garden” was in no small part the inspiration for this website. So before I go into more detail about the book, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Nancy and all the courageous women who took part in it’s creation. It might be forty years old but the book is still both relevant and profound and we have Nancy and the ladies who contributed to thank for that.

First published in 1973, the book is a collection of female fantasies collated and commented on by the author. From one-line fantasies to stories hundreds of words long. The contributors anonymously shared, through letters and interviews the fantasies they experienced both during masturbation and sex. At the time it was released, a book like this had never been published and it was considered by many as a groundbreaking piece of work in the field of female sexuality.

Sexual Repression

Before reading the book it is worth paying attention to the context in which it was created. The world of 1973 was a dramatically different social environment for women. The feminist movement whilst helping to make significant improvement to women’s lives was by no means totally successful in doing so. Sex and sexuality, were still repressed to a much larger extent than they are today. Women in particular were held to account against puritanical and judgmental standards that very few men felt obliged to live up. One final point to bear in mind about the era in which this book came to life, was the (now staggeringly hard to accept) belief that women didn’t have sexual fantasies! Female fantasy is now accepted (rightly so) as fact. But in the Western world at this time it was widely assumed that only men had sexual fantasies. I don’t think it is any exaggeration to say that “My Secret Garden” played a significant part in eradicating this harmful and repressive myth.

Women’s fantasies shared and explored

It is perhaps in the context of this sexual repression that makes this book so (potentially) shocking and profound. The women whose fantasies were shared in the book were remarkably honest mostly due to the lack of fear at being judged (all the women’s identities remained anonymous). What this honesty revealed is the huge range of female fantasy, the surprising and potentially shocking content of these fantasies and the fact that all this was very often kept secret from partners, lovers and society in general. In other words the book unveiled an otherwise hidden world, one that when reading even forty years later I found it in places both shocking and disturbing.

Side note – As the joint creator of this website it will come as no surprise to you that I am no prude. Also I hold firm in the belief that a non-judgmental attitude to the fantasies of others is the only acceptable approach to human sexuality. However with both those points taken into consideration, I still found the fantasies shared in this book staggering to say the least.

What was it that shocked me so much? The two biggest shockers for me personally were the repeated occurrences of incest and bestiality amongst women’s fantasies. Again I want to make it clear I am not making a value judgment on the private lives of these women but this type of content and its popularity still surprises me as I write this review. I had no idea that women commonly held sexual fantasies about either of these subjects. My gut instinct is that the occurrence of such subject matter must to some extent spring from some sort of trauma or sexual repression. Perhaps I’m wrong but could it be that if these women weren’t sexually repressed, would their fantasies be less potentially damaging and lie so far beyond the “norms” of acceptable sexual behavior?

my secret gardenThe Book is Full of Revelations

One other recurring fact that I found surprising and have to admit I wasn’t 100% comfortable with, was the frequency with which women admitted to fantasizing about other people whilst having sex with their current partner or lover.

Personally when I’m having sex I prefer to concentrate on the woman I’m sleeping with and it was a revelation to think that many of the women I’ve sleep with in the past might not have had the same idea. Still I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, the book has opened my eyes to this and I think the best way forward is, where possible for couples to share their fantasies and use them as a tool to add to the sexual bond. So, the book both surprised and educated me on many levels. I have bought all of Nancy Fridays other books and plan to read and then review them all on this site.

If you have any interest in sex, sexuality and sexual fantasies, I highly recommend you read My Secret Garden it is a highly thorough, provoking and interesting read and well worth checking out.

For more reading on the subject and to read contemporary fantasies from both men and women check out the fantasies community section of this website. You will find an open minded, non-judgmental community of like-minded individuals sharing their fantasies and exploring their sexuality. Who knows, you might even feel like sharing some of your own secret desires..?

Have a good one!
PS – For more on Nancy Friday, check out her Wikipedia page here…

Welcome to The Secret Erotica Blog

A brief introduction to the blog and the website. If you want to know more about Secret Erotica and the team behind it then read this post…

The Secret Erotica Blog - Unleash Your Hidden Desires!Before we start, let me introduce you to the team…

Firstly there is Lola (@lola). She is the boss around here! Don’t worry, she is lovely, but be warned if you upset her you will regret it..! 😉

My name is Jack (@jack). I’m second in command, I look after the technical geekery that goes on in the background, so you get the best possible experience from this site and our community.

We are both active members of the community. We will be there to have fun, flirt and chat with you and talk about sex, fantasies and erotica. BUT, more importantly, we are there to look after you! Our promise to you is that we will provide a safe place for you to explore your fantasies and desires, away from trolls, bullies, creeps and weirdos!

Let me be very clear about this:

Our goal in life is to create the sexiest, most fun, most awesome fantasy community the Internet has ever seen!

If you are interested in sex, desire, fantasy and erotica AND you know how to treat people with respect you are very, very welcome.

If you are a troll, a bully or an angry person who thinks it’s acceptable to behave aggressively towards other people, you are NOT welcome. Don’t waste your time by joining, as soon as you misbehave you will be blocked for life.

When Lola and I created Secret Erotica, the first thing we did was create a philosophy, a collection of values and goals that would direct all future work with Secret Erotica:

“We intend to build a website that is open minded, fun to use, female friendly, sexy and exciting.
It will be a welcoming interactive community that is safe, non-judgmental and supportive. We will provide informative, inspirational articles and blog posts to improve the sex lives of our users.”

Note – Why female friendly? Of course men are very welcome but we want to make sure women feel safe here. Women find it hard to find a sexy place online where they don’t get harassed. Unfortunately there are some very angry and/or creepy men online trawling through all the adult communities and creating bad vibes. (THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN HERE!) So we embedded into our ethos from day one the idea that if we create a great place for women to be sexy then not only will the women benefit from this but also the men.

The Blog

This blog is going to be a lot of fun! Both Lola and I will be using it to let our hair down, chat and express our more personal experiences, opinions and advice. We are both passionate about experiencing and encouraging great sex lives, both for ourselves and our community, so we will keep an eye out for any cutting-edge information and share it with you here. We will also be featuring blogs from some of our most trusted and valuable members. We feel it’s only right that those who contribute to our site get the opportunity to share their own thoughts and passions.

Lola and I hope you are as excited about this new sexy community as we are. If so, and you would like to help build something really special then here’s a couple of things you can do to help…

1. Share this blog post with anyone you think might be interested.
2. Hook up with us on Twitter, Facebook, Lola’s personal Facebook and G+ to stay in touch.
3. Tell everyone and anyone about this website.
4. Most importantly of all go and enjoy the community!
4. The best thing you can do is jump right in, get involved, and have lots of fun!

That’s about it for our first ever blog post. Feel free to have a good look around the site, we have a ton of interesting articles on sex and fantasies for you to enjoy.

To get the most out of the site, why not Sign Up Now for Your Own FREE Membership to the Sexiest Community Online!

… And if you have any comments or questions, please add them using the form below. (They will go live once they have been approved).

Thanks for reading. Click here to read the latest posts on the blog.

Have a good one!