How Taking a Leak Can Improve Your Sex Life!?!? (Tip for the men)

Simple, easy to follow tips to improve a man’s sex life. And yes it does have everything to do with taking a leak…

Yes, you heard me right. Taking a leak can improve your sex life. No this isn’t a joke and no it isn’t some dumb internet scam to try and get you to spend money. It’s just a simple technique to help you to…

Improve your ejaculation control (You get to choose when you cum!)
Increase the intensity of your orgasms.
Give you the capability to have multiple orgasms!

Yes you read that right, it’s little known fact that men can have multiple orgasms. So what the hell am I talking about?

How to do it:

EVERY TIME you take a leak stop mid flow 5-10 times, pause for a second or two before carrying on. It’s that simple. Just stop and start your flow as many times as possible.


This strengthens your pelvic floor muscles (also known as PC or kegel muscles). These muscles (the same ones that lift your balls up and down) and their strength dictate how intense your orgasms are, how much control you have over ejaculation and can also help you have multiple orgasms!

Ejaculation control:

The stronger your PC muscles are the longer you can last during intercourse. As your PC muscles improve you will have much, much more control over when you cum.

Increase the intensity of your orgasms:

I have no ideas why this is, but I know its true from my own experience. As your muscles get stronger your orgasms increase in intensity. You should start to notice a difference within a few weeks of starting this exercise.

Male multiple orgasms:

This is more complicated and needs it’s own blog post to explain it fully. But if your PC muscles are well trained it is possible to use them to stop ejaculation during orgasm. This means you can have a dry orgasm without losing your erection. This of course means you can carry on and have multiple orgasms in a similar way to a woman.

Give it a go:

Try it out for a few weeks and you will notice a difference. Like I said before just stop mid flow as many times as possible, every time you take a leak.
I will post a longer blog post on kegel exercises, ejaculation control and multiple orgasms soon but for now just practice this one tip and you will be amazed!


(Please note I am not a Doctor! If you have any serious concerns around your health please consult a professional health worker).

Feel free to comment or ask any questions using the form below. If you haven’t already you really need to join our sexy online community now! The members are awesome; it’s rammed with sexy stories, advice, chat and lots of very horny people.

Have a good one!

My Secret Garden – by Nancy Friday

My Secret Garden is an amazing book. It gives and awesome insight into female sexuality and it was also the inspiration for this website…

Nancy Friday’s amazing book “My Secret Garden” was in no small part the inspiration for this website. So before I go into more detail about the book, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Nancy and all the courageous women who took part in it’s creation. It might be forty years old but the book is still both relevant and profound and we have Nancy and the ladies who contributed to thank for that.

First published in 1973, the book is a collection of female fantasies collated and commented on by the author. From one-line fantasies to stories hundreds of words long. The contributors anonymously shared, through letters and interviews the fantasies they experienced both during masturbation and sex. At the time it was released, a book like this had never been published and it was considered by many as a groundbreaking piece of work in the field of female sexuality.

Sexual Repression

Before reading the book it is worth paying attention to the context in which it was created. The world of 1973 was a dramatically different social environment for women. The feminist movement whilst helping to make significant improvement to women’s lives was by no means totally successful in doing so. Sex and sexuality, were still repressed to a much larger extent than they are today. Women in particular were held to account against puritanical and judgmental standards that very few men felt obliged to live up. One final point to bear in mind about the era in which this book came to life, was the (now staggeringly hard to accept) belief that women didn’t have sexual fantasies! Female fantasy is now accepted (rightly so) as fact. But in the Western world at this time it was widely assumed that only men had sexual fantasies. I don’t think it is any exaggeration to say that “My Secret Garden” played a significant part in eradicating this harmful and repressive myth.

Women’s fantasies shared and explored

It is perhaps in the context of this sexual repression that makes this book so (potentially) shocking and profound. The women whose fantasies were shared in the book were remarkably honest mostly due to the lack of fear at being judged (all the women’s identities remained anonymous). What this honesty revealed is the huge range of female fantasy, the surprising and potentially shocking content of these fantasies and the fact that all this was very often kept secret from partners, lovers and society in general. In other words the book unveiled an otherwise hidden world, one that when reading even forty years later I found it in places both shocking and disturbing.

Side note – As the joint creator of this website it will come as no surprise to you that I am no prude. Also I hold firm in the belief that a non-judgmental attitude to the fantasies of others is the only acceptable approach to human sexuality. However with both those points taken into consideration, I still found the fantasies shared in this book staggering to say the least.

What was it that shocked me so much? The two biggest shockers for me personally were the repeated occurrences of incest and bestiality amongst women’s fantasies. Again I want to make it clear I am not making a value judgment on the private lives of these women but this type of content and its popularity still surprises me as I write this review. I had no idea that women commonly held sexual fantasies about either of these subjects. My gut instinct is that the occurrence of such subject matter must to some extent spring from some sort of trauma or sexual repression. Perhaps I’m wrong but could it be that if these women weren’t sexually repressed, would their fantasies be less potentially damaging and lie so far beyond the “norms” of acceptable sexual behavior?

my secret gardenThe Book is Full of Revelations

One other recurring fact that I found surprising and have to admit I wasn’t 100% comfortable with, was the frequency with which women admitted to fantasizing about other people whilst having sex with their current partner or lover.

Personally when I’m having sex I prefer to concentrate on the woman I’m sleeping with and it was a revelation to think that many of the women I’ve sleep with in the past might not have had the same idea. Still I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, the book has opened my eyes to this and I think the best way forward is, where possible for couples to share their fantasies and use them as a tool to add to the sexual bond. So, the book both surprised and educated me on many levels. I have bought all of Nancy Fridays other books and plan to read and then review them all on this site.

If you have any interest in sex, sexuality and sexual fantasies, I highly recommend you read My Secret Garden it is a highly thorough, provoking and interesting read and well worth checking out.

For more reading on the subject and to read contemporary fantasies from both men and women check out the fantasies community section of this website. You will find an open minded, non-judgmental community of like-minded individuals sharing their fantasies and exploring their sexuality. Who knows, you might even feel like sharing some of your own secret desires..?

Have a good one!
PS – For more on Nancy Friday, check out her Wikipedia page here…

Women Love Sex

Do women love sex? Do they love it more than men? How often do they think about it? Find out my thoughts on this and lots more…

Just How Dirty Are Us Ladies?

Most women, deep down want to be sexy, naughty and much more sexually active then they dare to admit.

Women quite often deprive themselves of their sexuality because society tells them that they shouldn’t express it freely and openly. Women are also told that they are only there for men’s gratification and their only role as a woman is to satisfy their man rather than to be a sexual being in their own right.

There is a myth about sex that damages both men and women. This myth is subconsciously reinforced by both sexes. This myth comes from men’s fear of women’s sexuality and women’s fear of being classed as “easy”.

This myth appears in various forms like ‘men like sex more than women’ ‘women only have sex to please men’ and my favorite one ‘nice women don’t like sex’ yeah right! I am yet to find a woman that agrees with this myth. The truth is a lot of women have a much higher sex drive than a lot of men. I will repeat that just to make sure its very clear…Most women love sex more than most men.

Men’s fear
Men are conditioned to think that an ideal woman will only ever be as dirty as he wants or feels comfortable with. This conditioning creates fear of the reality and this is one of the reasons that this silly myth still exists. Men are also conditioned (in varying degrees) to judge women who are open about their enjoyment of sex, especially if they sleep with a lot of different partners.

Women’s fear
Women feel judged by society so lie (even to themselves!!) and repress their true sexual feelings and desires so they can meet men’s/society’s expectations. This sexual repression is very unhealthy. At best women can miss out on lots of great sex at worst it can cause mental and emotional issues such as anxiety or depression.

We need to stop this silly myth:

Men – You need to grow a bigger pair of balls and accept the reality that most women love sex more than you and will try anything to feed their sexual desires. If you become the type of man that a woman knows won’t judge her for her desires but instead will only encourage them then she will be at her sexiest with you. Of course you will reap the rewards for being clever enough not to follow the BS society chucks at us all.

Women – You need to be brave and help stop this myth. Be as honest as you can with your partners and express your sexuality freely. If they can’t handle it then you have to ask the question, are they right for you? The wrong partners will quickly disappear and the ones that want to help free your sexuality (the real men) will replace them. That is of course as long as you keep an eye out for the good ones!

So if you haven’t done so already you need to accept the fact that most women love sex more than most men. This can either be liberating or scary or both depending on what you choose to do with this fact. Embracing this knowledge and using it to increase your personal levels of satisfaction can be liberating for everyone involved.

Our sexy community is full of fun and like-minded people that welcome newbies with open arms so feel free to join us here.


Welcome to The Secret Erotica Blog

A brief introduction to the blog and the website. If you want to know more about Secret Erotica and the team behind it then read this post…

The Secret Erotica Blog - Unleash Your Hidden Desires!Before we start, let me introduce you to the team…

Firstly there is Lola (@lola). She is the boss around here! Don’t worry, she is lovely, but be warned if you upset her you will regret it..! 😉

My name is Jack (@jack). I’m second in command, I look after the technical geekery that goes on in the background, so you get the best possible experience from this site and our community.

We are both active members of the community. We will be there to have fun, flirt and chat with you and talk about sex, fantasies and erotica. BUT, more importantly, we are there to look after you! Our promise to you is that we will provide a safe place for you to explore your fantasies and desires, away from trolls, bullies, creeps and weirdos!

Let me be very clear about this:

Our goal in life is to create the sexiest, most fun, most awesome fantasy community the Internet has ever seen!

If you are interested in sex, desire, fantasy and erotica AND you know how to treat people with respect you are very, very welcome.

If you are a troll, a bully or an angry person who thinks it’s acceptable to behave aggressively towards other people, you are NOT welcome. Don’t waste your time by joining, as soon as you misbehave you will be blocked for life.

When Lola and I created Secret Erotica, the first thing we did was create a philosophy, a collection of values and goals that would direct all future work with Secret Erotica:

“We intend to build a website that is open minded, fun to use, female friendly, sexy and exciting.
It will be a welcoming interactive community that is safe, non-judgmental and supportive. We will provide informative, inspirational articles and blog posts to improve the sex lives of our users.”

Note – Why female friendly? Of course men are very welcome but we want to make sure women feel safe here. Women find it hard to find a sexy place online where they don’t get harassed. Unfortunately there are some very angry and/or creepy men online trawling through all the adult communities and creating bad vibes. (THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN HERE!) So we embedded into our ethos from day one the idea that if we create a great place for women to be sexy then not only will the women benefit from this but also the men.

The Blog

This blog is going to be a lot of fun! Both Lola and I will be using it to let our hair down, chat and express our more personal experiences, opinions and advice. We are both passionate about experiencing and encouraging great sex lives, both for ourselves and our community, so we will keep an eye out for any cutting-edge information and share it with you here. We will also be featuring blogs from some of our most trusted and valuable members. We feel it’s only right that those who contribute to our site get the opportunity to share their own thoughts and passions.

Lola and I hope you are as excited about this new sexy community as we are. If so, and you would like to help build something really special then here’s a couple of things you can do to help…

1. Share this blog post with anyone you think might be interested.
2. Hook up with us on Twitter, Facebook, Lola’s personal Facebook and G+ to stay in touch.
3. Tell everyone and anyone about this website.
4. Most importantly of all go and enjoy the community!
4. The best thing you can do is jump right in, get involved, and have lots of fun!

That’s about it for our first ever blog post. Feel free to have a good look around the site, we have a ton of interesting articles on sex and fantasies for you to enjoy.

To get the most out of the site, why not Sign Up Now for Your Own FREE Membership to the Sexiest Community Online!

… And if you have any comments or questions, please add them using the form below. (They will go live once they have been approved).

Thanks for reading. Click here to read the latest posts on the blog.

Have a good one!

Check Out These Strange and Crazy Sex Toys

Ever wondered what are some of the more strange and crazy adult toys? Check out this list of some of the more exotic toys on the market, what they do and how people use them…

Being the owners of an adult toy shop there is very little that surprises us in the way of strange sexy toys. However some of the crazy toys we sell even make our eyes open a little bit wider. Here are some of our absolute faves:

  1. Fucking machines – Yes they exist and yes you can buy them. You might have seen them in an adult movie as they are becoming very fashionable. The machines have an electric motor, which drives a thrusting rod. On one end of the rod a dildo is usually fixed (sometimes it’s a plastic pussy). While these toys don’t have the personal touch, they will never get tired, never suffer from premature ejaculation and can go all night long!
  2. Face dildos – Not the most elegant of toys Face Dildo in black but a clever idea for improved oral sex. The dildo is worn on the chin and inserted into the lady’s pussy while her clit is being licked. Great for giving combined clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time.
  3. HUGE sex toys – You might think there is nothing too strange or crazy about huge sex toys. Well there isn’t…. Apart from how big they are! I have no idea how people manage to insert some of these things inside themselves but I know I couldn’t do it..! LOL.
  4. Inflatable butt plugs – Yup… Butt plugs that inflate! Some people really like the feeling of being filled up and stretched internally.
  5. Remote control vibrators – These are great fun and a personal favorite of mine. Simple put it on, (or in depending on what type it is) then enjoy the fun. I love it when technology and sex comes together to create something as fun and horny as this!
  6. Sex furniture – From sex slings to bondage chairs, sex furniture is really popular. For example, you know that feeling of no matter how many positions you try you just can’t get the right angle? Well that’s why specially designed furniture is so good! It is created to help you get your bodies in exactly the position you want and need to enjoy much, much better sex.
  7. Chastity belts – Genuine, lockable leather and metal chastity belts really popular among certain parts of the bondage/SM community.
  8. Electro stimulation gadgets – They use safe, but still exciting mini-electric shocks for sexual stimulation. I suggest you don’t try these if you have a pacemaker!
  9. Speculums – A gynecological instrument used to hold the vagina wide open. Also used as a toy by some of our more kinky customers!
  10. Vampire Gloves – These leather gloves are loved by BDSM fans. They have tiny little metal spikes in the fingers tips meaning every touch or spank sends shivers of pain across the recipient’s body.

So now you know about some of the stranger toys why not check them out (and also the much more “normal” selections) by clicking this link…

PS – If you like reading free erotic stories, or you want to make friends with our sexy members, check out my community on this link…