Can men and women be friends? A woman’s perspective

A woman’s perspective on the age old question of can men and women be friends without sexual attraction or even love getting in the way of the friendship…

There is a widely held belief that with both men and women that members of the opposite sex cannot be just friends. That platonic relationships between a man and a woman are impossible.

In my opinion this is a great shame as it dramatically reduces the amount of friends someone can have. Also there can be something very special in friendship between a woman and a man and to totally rule that out seems crazy to me!

So clearly I don’t buy into this belief but I can understand where it comes from.

For years I thought it was possible to have purely platonic friendships with myself and my guy friends, but a close male friend convinced me that this wasn’t accurate.

What he explained to me and what I’ve since experienced is that there will always be an element of attraction or sexual curiosity from one, the other or both people involved. (Maybe at the same or different times in the relationship).

Where I differ from the people that think men and women should not be friends is that I think it is perfectly fine for friends to experience some sort of attraction at some time during their friendships. I think this is normal, natural and nothing to stress about.

Well I would qualify that slightly. Its nothing to worry about in a healthy respectful friendship where neither side has ulterior motives, like wrecking a relationship for example.

I think what is more important than the existence of attraction is the way the friends behave with each other.

If both men and women in this type of friendship are very clear about the signals they send out, this is a great start. Especially if one person is aware that the other has feelings for them.

For example if I have a male friend who I know finds me attractive I would be careful how I behave with him. I wouldn’t sit on his lap at a party or do a sexy dance in front of him when I hit the dance floor.

(I found learning how to do this a bit tricky. Sometimes I would be doing things that I thought were platonic but were misread by others. So now I tread carefully but try not to stress too much about it).

That way as long as I send out only very clear platonic signals I have done nothing to encourage the attraction he feels for me. Anything else is his responsibility and beyond my control.

Of course it is really important not to let these situations get out of hand. If the attraction gets too much a good friendship can be lost and that is always a sad thing when it occurs.

It is also important if there is a partner involved in one or both sides of the friendship. Partners not involved in the friendship need to feel loved and respected as well. This can be hard if they know their partner’s friend is in love with them!

So to sum this up….

What I am saying is that I think men and women can and should be friends.

What I am also saying is that this can be complicated and as such needs some thought and discussion.

As always there is always room for learning, growth and good communication nearly always makes things better.

What do you think about this? Do you have anything to add?

Love
Lola
PS – Jack blogged about this from a man’s perspective, check it out here…

PPS – Have you checked out the Secret Erotica community yet? It’s awesome! Find out more on this link…

The Deep Spot: The Easiest Way to Give Any Woman a Vaginal Orgasm

Do you know what the deep spot is? Do you know how to find it and how to stimulate it to give women insanely powerful vaginal orgasms? Read this post and discover everything you need to know…

Easy to Learn, Powerful and Very Effective!

Note – This blog post is mainly written for people who want make women cum (guys and gals) but if you are a woman and have never experienced a deep spot orgasm please read on. Once you know what it is you can teach your lover a new exciting way to make you cum. (Maybe even send your lover a link to this blog post).

Before I go any further I need to give credit to a man called David Shade, it was from him that I learned about the deep spot (and a lot of other amazing techniques that I will save for another blog post)! David is a remarkable man, he rose from the ashes from a painful divorce to become one of the most skilled sex experts there is. The methods he teaches REALLY WORK and he has a free download that’s well worth checking out on this link…

Some questions:

  • What is it?
  • How do you stimulate it?
  • What is so special about it?

What exactly is this secret spot?

It is a smooth frisbee shaped area, deep inside the woman’s vagina close to her cervix. It is sensitive enough to give powerful orgasms but not overly sensitive (like a clit just after orgasm). This means with firm regular stokes the deep spot can be used to give a woman powerful orgasms with NO CLITORAL STIMULATION again and again.

How do you stimulate it?

This technique is very simple but it does take a little bit of practice. Get your lady to lie on her back with her legs wide open and her knees bent. Insert your middle finger as deep as possible inside her and make a “come hither motion” almost as if you are trying to tickle the back of her belly button from the inside out. Try a few different areas until she starts to respond with pleasure and then just repeat until she cums.

The technique really is that simple but the reality is that you might find it a bit tiring at first. Your arm and finger night get a little achy! Don’t worry just keep practicing until you build up the stamina.

Also you will find she gets so horny she wriggles about a lot with pleasure making it hard to keep your finger on the magic spot. There is a simple solution to both these problems – Put your spare hand on her belly and push down towards your finger. This helps you keep your fingertip in the right place, it helps you when your fingers get tired and it also increases her pleasure (by allowing you to push harder).

Learn how to stimulate the deep spot
Make Her Orgasmic!

What is so special about the deep spot?

First of all it is the easiest and most effective way of giving a woman a vaginal orgasm. Most women think that they need clitoral stimulation to cum and by giving her a vaginal orgasm (with no clit stimulation) you will blow her mind.

Secondly, very few people know about this. So if you use this on a woman it will very likely be the first time she has experienced it.

Finally as the deep spot is not as sensitive as her clit, she can take repeated stimulation even while cumming. This means you can use it to give her very long, intense orgasms like she has never had before.

To find out more about the deep spot (and the other secret and immensely powerful techniques David teaches) – Check out this free download with some insane techniques to sky rocket your sexual skills!

It is real easy once you know how and you will soon have the power to make any woman cum harder than she ever has in her life! Also don’t forget that women talk to each other, especially about great sex. if you get this skill mastered and do a good job on one lady, she will tell her friends and then guess what might happen..? 😉

Have a good one!
Jack
PS – Don’t forget to leave any comments or questions you have in the box below, I am here to help.

PPS – If you click on the David Shade link above he will give you a ton of amazing free stuff, he will also offer you the chance to buy some advanced sexual skills courses. I love his stuff and highly recommend it but of course feel free to just take the free bonuses and don’t spend a dime, his free stuff is still well worth grabbing!

Ejaculation Control: Tips and Advice on How to Last Longer

Let’s be honest at one time or another we all cum to quickly. BUT there are some real simple tips you can learn to help you last a longer in bed. Check out this post to find out more…

Lean how to delay ejaculation and put a smile on her face!

  • Do you have trouble controlling when you cum?
  • Would you like to learn how to last longer?
  • Would you like to be able to give your woman vaginal orgasms when you are fucking her?

(Ladies if your man cums too quickly send him a link to this blog post and lets get him sorted out!)

First the bad news, then the good news and then I’ll share a link with you that might just change your sex life forever.

The bad news – There is no magic pill, silver bullet or instant cure that will solve your premature ejaculation problems with no effort.

The good news – There are some short-term solutions that will help you out a lot and in the long term (with a small amount of practice) you can learn how to get complete control of when you cum.

This blog isn’t the right place to go into every single technique to help you control your ejaculation but I will share two with you right now. One is a short term fix and one a longer term suggestion then, like I said I’ll give you a link with tons more great more info. (Or just click here if you are impatient and want to skip straight to the advanced stuff!)

Quick side note – Until you get this issue handled I suggest adopting the “she cums first rule”. If your lady gets to cum she is much less likely to care about how long you last. This one simple rule will save you a lot of performance anxiety and that in itself can help you last longer.

Short-term fix – Delay condoms. They really do work. They contain a small amount of de-sensitizing gel in the tip of the latex. This gel slows down the arousal process so it takes longer to cum. As a quick fix they are great but they are far from perfect. The gel de-sensitizes your cock, which means less pleasure. They can also make it hard to cum as your dick can be too desensitized!

Longer-term fix – Kegel exercises. Kegel exercises can help you get better control of your premature ejaculation, they take a bit of work and practice but they are a better solution than delay condoms. The exercises strengthen your PC muscles and these muscles can stop you from cumming too quickly.

How to do kegel exercises – Step one, every time you take a leak stop mid-flow (ideally five times per leak). Step two, practice contracting your PC muscles. You do this by flexing the muscles that lift your ball sack up and down. Do this every day until the muscles feel tired and soon you will notice improvements in your stamina.

Both these two tips will give you some improvement in your ejaculation control BUT THERE IS MUCH MORE TO LEARN.

If you want to discover some ninja-like secrets and advanced techniques to help you last longer.
If you want to put them into action and get complete control over exactly when you cum.
If you want to have the power to give a woman intense vaginal orgasms and total sexual satisfaction just from fucking her.

My new buddy Lester has created a ton of great info telling you step by step exactly how to get complete control of your ejaculation.

Learn how to get control of your ejaculation here…

Have a good one!
Jack
PS – Feel free to hit me up with any questions you have using the comments box below. I am always happy to help and get notified every time anyone posts a comment on here so it won’t take me long to get back to you. Make sure you also subscribe to comments so that you get notified of my reply. :good:

What are the Sexiest Social Media Sites for Naughty Fun?

Social media is an amazing online phenomenon. Social sites can be a great place to share erotic stories, flirt and even meet people for sexy fun. But some sites are definitely better than others…

Do you like flirting and chatting with sexy people online?

I love it! In fact that’s why I built this website (well actually I got some geeks to build it for me but you know what I mean lol).

With the explosion of social media websites over the past few years there are some great choices out there and most people tend to play around with at least two or three.

I’ve made a list of my faves below, I’ve put the good points and the bad points for each one and also links so we can hook up and play together… Yay! 🙂

Secret Erotica

Ok, ok, I admit I’m biased BUT the reason Secret Erotica exists is because I wasn’t happy with the other networks and wanted to make a much better one for me and everyone else to enjoy.

Good points:

  • As it’s purely for sexy fun there is (almost) no censorship and no one who gets offended if they find something naughty.
  • Simple to use and easy to interact with other members.
  • Instant chat (yes it can be used one handed 😉 )
  • STRICT policy on trolls, bullies, idiots and weirdo’s.
  • Library packed with free erotic stories.
  • Writers can share their own sexy stories.
  • Personal touch, the owners of the site are active members.

Click here to claim your free Secret Erotica membership…

Not so good points:

  • It’s new so there are still a few little glitches to be ironed out.
  • As it is new there aren’t millions of users (…yet).

Twitter

Good points:

  • Quite random this can be a lot of fun.
  • Lots of sexy people to play with.
  • Good for finding offers on sex toys etc.

Not so good points:

  • No sexy library.
  • Some censorship, but you can get away with a lot 😉 .
  • Quite a lot of weirdo’s.
  • Impersonal, I have no idea who owns Twitter but I’m sure they aren’t following me…!

To follow me on Twitter click here…

Facebook

Good points:

  • Plenty of people to play with.
  • Not too much censorship.
  • Easy to use.

Not so good points

  • Doesn’t let you add people you don’t have a connection with, which makes it really hard to make new friends.
  • Not a dedicated sex site so non-flirty members often won’t approve of your shenanigans.
  • The way the feeds work mean you can easily lose touch with people.
  • They will restrict your account at the drop of hat.
  • LOTS of creepy guys.
  • No erotic library.

You can hook up with my personal Facebook page here…

Google+

  • Lots of sexy people.
  • Easy to use.
  • Lots of groups to join.

Not so good points

  • Really strict censorship, accounts get banned all the time.
  • Not a dedicated sex site so non sexy members can get a bit grumpy or judgmental.
  • Google has this annoying habit of trying to make all your Google accounts join up! I might not want my YouTube friends to know what I’m up to on G+ thank you very much!!!
  • You can’t send private messages. You have to go through ‘Hangouts’ – WTF..!?!?!
  • Google hangouts mean you can get hounded a lot by idiots.

Check out the Secret Erotica G+ page here…

Tumblr

Good points:

  • Very little censorship
  • Lots of sexy people
  • Some good adult stories

Not so good points

  • Not great for one on one interactions, no chat etc.
  • Really it’s more of a blog platform than a social media site.

You can hook up with me on Tumblr here…

So, my honest opinion is that if you are looking for a sexy social media community to play in Secret Erotica is the best!

Check out this video to find out why…
Lola


Claim your FREE membership here

When is it ok to Objectify Women?

Is it every ok to sexually objectify women? If so when is it ok and when is it not ok?

So it’s confession time, I’ve always wondered what was so bad about objectifying women? I look at a pretty lady, I am attracted and I want to fuck her.
This feels perfectly natural to me! If this is objectifying women then I am guilty.

The other day I happened to come across a YouTube video on the subject. The vid was from Laci Green and as I am a huge fan of her videos I gave it a watch.

In short this video is really cool in my opinion, she makes some great points including:

  • What sexual objectification is (and isn’t).
  • How to not confuse sexual attraction with sexual objectification (like I did above).
  • How the objectification of women damages men as well as women.
  • When it is ok to objectify women and men.

So, I’m going to shut up now and let you enjoy the awesomeness that is Laci Green, check it out!

So what are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree?

Are you going to rush out and subscribe to Laci Green’s YouTube channel

Or are you going to leave an angry comment below disagreeing with every word in the video?
Either way let me know your thoughts.

I am no expert on feminist theory so I would love to know what you think about all of this?

Have a good one!
Jack
PS – Don’t forget to browse our huge range of sex toys all at discounted prices on this link…