How to flirt online – Tips for the guys

There are lot of very sexy, very horny people online. But flirting online can be tricky, especially for the guys as they usually do the chasing!

If you want to meet a sexy woman online there are some simple things you can to do to massively improve your chances.

Just as importantly there are some really important things that you must NEVER do if you want to succeed in meeting women online. As the joint owner of Secret Erotica I see some guys doing really well and having some good fun with attractive ladies.

BUT I also see some really daft stuff. Guys using the same tired old tactics to try and get laid. These tactics never work, so they are just wasting time and energy for no good reason. Flirting online isn’t that hard, it’s a skill and with a tiny bit of practice anyone can get much, much better at it!

Check out this list of do’s and don’ts to help you with your online flirting skills.

(I will list the don’ts first to get them out of the way then quickly move on to the positive stuff you can do to help you with your online flirtations!) Don’t do any of these EVER…!

  • Don’t bombard the ladies with instant chat requests.
  • Don’t send them repeated private msgs, especially copy and pasted ones!
  • Don’t get straight down to hardcore dirty talk with a woman you have no previous interaction with. Even on sites like this you need to ease up a little bit. Remember men get turned on like a light switch (instantly) women get turned on like a volume knob (more gradually).

Do these and you will do better than most men!

  • Do create a funny, sexy, or interesting profile.
  • Do add lots of details in the “about me” section of your profile.
  • Do gather up the best photos that you have of yourself. Even if you don’t add them to your profile you can send them via private msgs to any ladies that are interested.
  • Do take it slowly and step by step. Women get a lot of attention online and they are also concerned about stalkers etc. So be patient.
  • Do bring value wherever you are! This is huge! If you add sexy stories, funny jokes, cool pictures etc. You will come across as a cool guy.
  • Do interact with lots of women, not just the ones you want to get naked with. On and offline women keep an eye out for each other and talk about guys. If you are friendly and cool with all the ladies you bump into then this will be a big help in the long term.

One last tip, if you haven’t done it yet claim your free Secret Erotica membership here… It’s the sexiest social media community online and best of all its free!

Have a good one!
PS – Feel free to check out this video to find out more about our sexy community

Claim your FREE membership here

How to write erotic stories for female readers

Most women love well written erotic stories. If you want to learn how to write good female orientated erotica then check out these simple but powerful tips and techniques…

  • Do you want to get better at writing erotic stories?
  • Do you want to treat your lady to a nice surprise?
  • Or would you like to share a few stories in the Secret Erotic sexy stories library?
  • Maybe you want to improve your writing skills so you can use your stories to seduce a lady or two…???

Check out these tips on how to write hot erotic stories for female readers:

Note – These are general guidelines. Obviously every woman has slightly different needs and desires.

Set the scene – When guys watch a porn film they usually skip straight to the hardcore action. Most women like to be warmed up more slowly, so set the scene, introduce the characters and give a bit of background to the sexy bits.

Details, details, details – Women love details in their adult stories. Always set the scene with information about the characters, the locations, the clothes, the mood, even the weather (“It was a wild and stormy night, the wind lashed down on the windows looking out across the city sky…” Ok not my best effort but you get the idea!)

Leave some stuff to the imagination – While details are good women also love to fill in the gaps with their own imaginations. A good example of this would be a handsome stranger who never reveals his face. Your reader won’t be able to help herself. She will start imagining what he looks like and she will love it!

Add thoughts and emotions – Good sex isn’t just about sticking things in holes! It’s about emotions and thoughts as well. This is the stuff that makes us human and it is very important when learning how to write good erotica.
Example – “She knew she shouldn’t be doing it, but she couldn’t help herself. He made her feel so wanted that she just had to have him”

Go slowly and tease – As the old saying goes men get turned on like a light switch and women get turned on like a volume knob.  Or to use another way of thinking about it imagine watching a pan of water boil. At first there are no bubbles, then one or two appear, then lots of bubbles and then finally it starts bubbling like crazy. The trick with writing good erotica is to start off non-sexual (no bubbles) and then build up to fully orgasmic (bubbling like crazy), take your reader on a sexy journey and you will have her in the palm of your hands!

Ramp up the intensity – As the water in the pan starts to bubble, turn up the heat and watch it go crazy! Once you’ve set the scene, introduced the characters and laid out the scenario you need to take things more sexual and arousing.

Have a big climax – Take that pan to the boil and let it bubble like crazy. The easiest way to do this is to bring one or more of your characters to a powerful orgasm.

Waves of pleasure – In real life women can have multiple orgasms so it makes sense they would like similar experience from their sexy stories. Back to our pan of water, once it’s boiling, turn the heat down. Let the bubbles slow right down and then ramp it back up again until, it’s back bubbling like crazy again (and again and again).

Leave them wanting more – In my experience women love an element of being teased. It creates anticipation of future fun and excitement. This could be as simple as leaving the story open ended and saying something like “To be continued…”

You can write and share your free sexy erotic stories in our library on this link…

I hope this helps, feel free to ask questions below.

Have a good one!
PS – Welcome to the Secret Erotica community website! 🙂

The problem with men sex and the internet. A letter to our ladies.


I wanted to write directly to you as a female member of our community to address some potential concerns I have with your enjoyment of our site.

Having been online in lots of different websites and communities I have witnessed way too many badly behaved men annoying the female users.

The pattern of behavior usually goes something like this:

  • Sending crappy copy and pasted emails to hundreds of women in the hope someone will bite.
  • Repeatedly sending PM’s to the same woman even though she ignored them or politely declined.
  • Repeatedly sending chat requests to the same or multiple women.
  • Sending totally inappropriate sexual msgs. Yes even on an erotica site. There is a time and a place for filth!
  • Ignoring any polite rejections.
  • Even worse reacting badly to rejections and becoming either way over the top and needy OR aggressive and judgmental to the woman who rejects them.
  • Ladies – If you have anymore just post them in the comments section and I will happily add them to the list!

If you are female and have been on any sort of dating, sex or erotica site I have no doubt that some or all of these will sound familiar to you. If so please read on.

Why do they behave like this?

A lot of this is about not knowing how to spark attraction, how to flirt and how to respect women’s boundaries. I’ve put some tips below for any guys reading this post.

Another major factor is an inability to handle rejection. Lots of people don’t like to hear the word “no”. But in dating its usually the guy who makes the first move and as such it’s the guy who more often than not hears the word no. Even if he is fairly cool with rejection after a while of hearing “no” after “no” he might get frustrated. (Especially if he isn’t very good at flirting or interacting with the women he finds attractive).

Finally some people are just fucking ass-holes that should be put head first in the nearest trash can! 😉

What can you do about it?

If you are a lady and you are getting unwanted attention for guys on Secret Erotica here are some tips to help solve the problem as quickly and as easily as possible:

  • Don’t get into an argument or start being abusive back. It’s not worth the effort!
  • Politely ask him not to contact you.
  • If he ignores your request go to his profile page and block him.
  • Once he is blocked he wont be able to hassle you from the same profile. But if he creates another profile just to harass you please let us know immediately and we will block him at the IP level which will make it almost impossible for him to get back on to the site.
  • If you have any concerns, issues or questions about this please just contact us within the community or by our contact form on this page.

Are you a guy and want to improve your online skills with the ladies?

Here are some quick does and don’ts to help you on your way:

  • Do add an interesting profile with some cool, funny, sexy images.
  • Do join lots of groups and interact in them.
  • Do join in the activity on the main wall.
  • Do check out our premium membership.
  • Do write some hot sexy stories and share them in the community.
  • DON’T bombard anyone with chat requests, comments or PM’s.
  • DON’T create more than one profile to use to chase anyone.
  • DON’T get all needy and whiny if a lady rejects you.
  • DON’T EVER get grumpy, aggressive or judgmental if you get rejected. Our female members have every right to say no, so just grow a pair and deal with it!

Ladies – If you are sick of brain dead men, why not treat yourself to a luxury sex toy and forget about your men troubles…?

Guys – If you have any questions about improving your profile give Lola a shout using the mention tag @lola or by sending her a private msg.

Please feel free to comment below with any questions, comments or other annoying things you might want to add to the list. Maybe you’ve got a funny story to share…?

Have a good one!

What are the Sexiest Social Media Sites for Naughty Fun?

Social media is an amazing online phenomenon. Social sites can be a great place to share erotic stories, flirt and even meet people for sexy fun. But some sites are definitely better than others…

Do you like flirting and chatting with sexy people online?

I love it! In fact that’s why I built this website (well actually I got some geeks to build it for me but you know what I mean lol).

With the explosion of social media websites over the past few years there are some great choices out there and most people tend to play around with at least two or three.

I’ve made a list of my faves below, I’ve put the good points and the bad points for each one and also links so we can hook up and play together… Yay! 🙂

Secret Erotica

Ok, ok, I admit I’m biased BUT the reason Secret Erotica exists is because I wasn’t happy with the other networks and wanted to make a much better one for me and everyone else to enjoy.

Good points:

  • As it’s purely for sexy fun there is (almost) no censorship and no one who gets offended if they find something naughty.
  • Simple to use and easy to interact with other members.
  • Instant chat (yes it can be used one handed 😉 )
  • STRICT policy on trolls, bullies, idiots and weirdo’s.
  • Library packed with free erotic stories.
  • Writers can share their own sexy stories.
  • Personal touch, the owners of the site are active members.

Click here to claim your free Secret Erotica membership…

Not so good points:

  • It’s new so there are still a few little glitches to be ironed out.
  • As it is new there aren’t millions of users (…yet).


Good points:

  • Quite random this can be a lot of fun.
  • Lots of sexy people to play with.
  • Good for finding offers on sex toys etc.

Not so good points:

  • No sexy library.
  • Some censorship, but you can get away with a lot 😉 .
  • Quite a lot of weirdo’s.
  • Impersonal, I have no idea who owns Twitter but I’m sure they aren’t following me…!

To follow me on Twitter click here…


Good points:

  • Plenty of people to play with.
  • Not too much censorship.
  • Easy to use.

Not so good points

  • Doesn’t let you add people you don’t have a connection with, which makes it really hard to make new friends.
  • Not a dedicated sex site so non-flirty members often won’t approve of your shenanigans.
  • The way the feeds work mean you can easily lose touch with people.
  • They will restrict your account at the drop of hat.
  • LOTS of creepy guys.
  • No erotic library.

You can hook up with my personal Facebook page here…


  • Lots of sexy people.
  • Easy to use.
  • Lots of groups to join.

Not so good points

  • Really strict censorship, accounts get banned all the time.
  • Not a dedicated sex site so non sexy members can get a bit grumpy or judgmental.
  • Google has this annoying habit of trying to make all your Google accounts join up! I might not want my YouTube friends to know what I’m up to on G+ thank you very much!!!
  • You can’t send private messages. You have to go through ‘Hangouts’ – WTF..!?!?!
  • Google hangouts mean you can get hounded a lot by idiots.

Check out the Secret Erotica G+ page here…


Good points:

  • Very little censorship
  • Lots of sexy people
  • Some good adult stories

Not so good points

  • Not great for one on one interactions, no chat etc.
  • Really it’s more of a blog platform than a social media site.

You can hook up with me on Tumblr here…

So, my honest opinion is that if you are looking for a sexy social media community to play in Secret Erotica is the best!

Check out this video to find out why…

Claim your FREE membership here

When is it ok to Objectify Women?

Is it every ok to sexually objectify women? If so when is it ok and when is it not ok?

So it’s confession time, I’ve always wondered what was so bad about objectifying women? I look at a pretty lady, I am attracted and I want to fuck her.
This feels perfectly natural to me! If this is objectifying women then I am guilty.

The other day I happened to come across a YouTube video on the subject. The vid was from Laci Green and as I am a huge fan of her videos I gave it a watch.

In short this video is really cool in my opinion, she makes some great points including:

  • What sexual objectification is (and isn’t).
  • How to not confuse sexual attraction with sexual objectification (like I did above).
  • How the objectification of women damages men as well as women.
  • When it is ok to objectify women and men.

So, I’m going to shut up now and let you enjoy the awesomeness that is Laci Green, check it out!

So what are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree?

Are you going to rush out and subscribe to Laci Green’s YouTube channel

Or are you going to leave an angry comment below disagreeing with every word in the video?
Either way let me know your thoughts.

I am no expert on feminist theory so I would love to know what you think about all of this?

Have a good one!
PS – Don’t forget to browse our huge range of sex toys all at discounted prices on this link…