- Do you want better sex?
- Are you in a long-term relationship and want to spice things up?
- Are you dating and want to learn how to blow a lover’s mind with sexy fun?
Learning how to talk dirty can do all of these things. Not only that but dirty talk is a great way to strengthen a relationship when you are apart. You might be in the same city but in different bedrooms or you could be on different sides of the world. Chatting over the phone and having some naughty fun before bed is a great way to make sure that absence makes the heart grow stronger!
The easy part is knowing that dirty talk can be very sexy. In reality it gets trickier when you try it out. Sometimes it can sound way, way too formal and clinical. At other times it can sound hilarious in a very unsexy way. Neither is ideal so I have created this step-by-step guide to help you learn how to talk dirty as easily and as quickly as possible. You can follow this guide on your own or with your partner and if you do the steps below you will get better at it. I PROMISE!
Talking it through with your lover – This one is more important for long-term relationships. If you are having a quick fling I suggest you skip this step and just get on with it. If it doesn’t work out as well as you would hope it’s no big deal. If, however you have been with your partner for a long time there are some steps you need to take to make sure this adds to your lovemaking rather than causing issues between the two of you.
Once you have both agreed that you want to talk dirty you need to decide what is in and out of bounds. You or your lover might have insecurities or jealousies that make certain subjects a no-go area. He or she might also find some words too extreme and a turn off rather than a turn on. By talking this through before you get started you can agree on what you both find sexy and safe to talk about to really amp up your sex life.
Knowing what to say – One of the first challenges is knowing what to say. This gets much easier with time but it’s a good idea to think ahead if you are new at this.
- What fantasies does your lover have?
- What do you fantasize about?
- What do you like doing to your partner?
- What do you like having done to you?
- What words turn you on?
Either on your own or with your lover, think all this through so you have some preplanned subjects to talk about.
Start off slowly – Texts and emails are a great way to start. You can practice your lines and learn what your partner enjoys whilst avoiding the intensity of talking dirty with him or her when they are in the room. Another great thing about texts and emails is that they can turn you both on well before you are together. So when you do meet up you are already raring to go!
Phone sex – Phone sex is great fun. After real sex it’s next in line for increasing levels of sexual arousal. It is also a great way of practicing talking dirty with less pressure than a face-to-face sexual encounter. Phone sex is really fun when done in naughty circumstances. Calling your lover at work and whispering erotic secrets to him or her can be a big turn on for both of you.
Lets get it on! – So you’ve practiced using texts and emails. You’ve enjoyed some phone sex. Now its time to go for it face to face (or from behind if that’s what you like! ). The main thing to remember here is it is not what you say it’s HOW YOU SAY IT! Relax, get turned on and then just go for it. If you struggle to think of something to say just whisper some random naughty words into your lover’s ear. As the intensity builds up you can increase the filthiness of the words you use. The hornier you both are the dirtier your words can be!
Pillow talk – Once your session is over, get some feedback from your lover. Ask them what they liked? What worked and what didn’t? Is there anything else they would like you to say? Are there things they want you to avoid? This feedback will help you improve and refine your technique as quickly as possible.
Rinse and repeat – Practice is the mother of all skill. Luckily for you practicing this will be a lot of fun. Keep up with the texts, the emails and the phone sex. Practice when you are making love and you will soon notice you are getting better and better at it. The better you get the more fun you will have and soon you will have a new powerful way of taking your love making to the next level.
Stuck for ideas? – If you find thinking of naughty stories or fantasies is tricky, feel free to check out the fantasies community section of this website. We have plenty of horny men and women sharing their fantasies, their desires and their turn-ons. This is all done in a private, non-judgmental, safe and supportive way so that you can feel comfortable exploring your own sexual desires amongst the community. (BTW its also free so you have nothing to lose!)
One last tip – Use slang and swear words NOT formal or medically correct terms. Formal terms for your bodies and your actions are very rarely sexy. Instead use slang, use swear words and really go for it. The dirtier the better!
Good luck. Hopefully I will bump into you for a real chat somewhere on this site at some time in the very near future. If you are interested in sex, erotica and fantasies feel free to check out our community here...